Welcome to the year 2020. The year when Murphy’s Law became Murphy’s Rule. Okay, I’m not sure if that makes sense but I think you know what I mean. It has been a while since I have posted something new on this as-yet-still-under-construction blog but now that I’m back I find it almost impossible not to write anything without acknowledging the current reality that is coronavirus is running wild, the explosion of social unrest and protests, and the ultra political polarization that dominates so much of our way of living. In what would have been a perfect time to create content and write new stories with the world on pause, negativity and anxiety created by said reality have hampered any inspiration to do what I love to do. How can I keep my creative drive going when my environment has transformed itself into something that can drown it out with daily briefings of awful news?
I believe the proper term for what I am trying here is “reinvention.” The thing about reinvention that I am learning is that it is never a wholesale change but rather a tweaking if you will. I’m learning it has to be incremental because what you’re really trying to do is change the way you think and that, as this whole nation is probably realizing now, is a very difficult thing to do. Change is scary, yes we all know (hopefully) that by now but change also reveals our stubbornness. Why do I have to change? Things are working fine the way they are! It’s what’s comfortable for me! I think it’s fair to say that we all feel like that. We’re creatures of habit, and learning new habits sounds like a lot of work.
In late 2019, I learned of the inaugural Killer Shorts Screenplay Competition. The moment I read Alison Parker’s (@thealisonparker) tweet announcing it, I immediately knew I wanted to submit to this competition. My favorite genre in a format I do regularly for practice? Yes, please! I only had a little over a month to submit before the early-bird deadline (i.e. lowest submission fee offered. Hey, I’m broke) so naturally I panicked. Funny thing happened as I was hyperventilating though. In deciding what story to write, I turned to an old “friend.” My Bluecat quarterfinalist script THAT NIGHT AT THE BAR. That script had become my forever work-in-progress. It has haunted me for over ten years, never feeling like I nailed the story that I wanted to tell no matter how much I rewrote it (and to be honest that title now sounds like a comedy than a horror story). So I asked the question, could this story work as a short? A month later I submitted MICHELLE’S GRIFFIN to Killer Shorts. A short that placed in the quarterfinals. Placing in that competition changed something in me.
After that accomplishment, I wanted to seize the momentum by diving back into my feature screenwriting. I created a schedule for myself to submit to noted screenplay competitions that I have longed admired and wish to do well in. I broke it down so that I have time between submissions to work on a new feature. 2020 was going to be my next stepping stone in realizing my dream career. But then 2020 happened. Pushing through my feature WIPs became strenuous amidst one apocalypse after another. People were getting sick. People were losing their jobs, People were being brutalized and all of these terrible things were being used as political footballs to move agendas. As a husband and a father, my job is to worry about the dangers that may affect my family. And the dangers were everywhere.
So I missed my first deadline in June. I know that sounds trivial but for me that hurt. Doubt and anxiety sets in as many of us creatives know occurs when things like this happen. Then I saw a new Alison Parker’s tweet announcing the second annual Killer Shorts Competition. I felt another panic attack coming on. Of course I wanted to submit to them again but I didn’t have anything prepared yet. Or did I? I had a horror story I’ve been trying to tell for two years now. It was the script I was planning to submit to the June feature competition I missed. Could this story be told as a short? I dove into the story to find out and the answer I came away with was…. sort of?
I think what is happening now in this country falls under reinvention. Storms like this happen because of an accumulation of routines and methods that simply do not work anymore and they have finally broken down. Between the horribleness that is reported, you find small changes, some seemingly negligible, that will lead to a new way of doing things. Symbols of the old broken ways are coming down. People, now understanding the hurt that has been inflicted on others for years, are fighting to end that pain. We are turning to new leaders to help us through a pandemic. All incremental steps towards a change we need but have not realized yet because we insist on being stubborn to said change. I have been stubborn. I’m realizing now that the change I want to see won’t come by the old paths of broken methods. I truly believe we all are realizing this truth. This won’t be easy, this anxiety-inducing environment promises as much. But if I can still create, even if it’s at a short clip at a time, I will be that much closer to where I want to be.
Okay 2020, you are one scary son of a gun but know this! The world is changing for the better. I pledge to help make it so. For my family. One way to do that is by creating and sharing with the world. It does sound like a lot of work and it’ll be uncomfortable but in the end, it will all have been worth it. So now if you would excuse me, I have a killer short to submit.